some more giggles

I came across this email. No idea who said these things but the one liners are brilliant!

Hello, you invented Tippex, correct me if I am wrong!

I went to buy a watch, and the man said 'analogue?' I said 'no just a watch!'

I went to a pet shop 'I want a goldfish' he said 'do you want an aquarium?'
I said ' don't care what star sign it is!'

I went for a meal in a restuarant and asked for something herby. They served me a VW with no driver

My mate is love with 2 shoolbags. Do you think she is bisatchel?

I read the History of Glue today .. I couldn't put it down

I had to phone the local ramblers association yesterday... the bloke just went on and on

My mate told me he had got a job in a bowling alley.... 'is it tenpin' I asked 'no it is a permenant posistion' he answered

I am having some building repairs done on my house. So I phoned the local builders 'can I have a skip outside my house?' he said ' what you do in your own free time is up to you I'm not stopping you!'

A cowboy walks into a German car show room and says 'Audi'

I found a poorly bird in my garden, so I took it to the RSPCA offices. It was so tiny in there you couldn't swing a cat

I have joined the gym. So I asked 'can you teach me to do the splits?' reply 'how flexible are you?' 'I can only make Tuesdays and Thursdays'

Thought I would get a DVD out tonight... 'can I take out The Elephant Man?' I asked
reply 'He's not your type'
Me 'how about Batman Forever'
reply 'yes ok but it as to be back tomorrow'


& on that note................................