Wednesday 7 November 2007

that moment of.............


My friends and some colleagues have an expression spawned from an experience I had once. The expression is ‘to have a Christie’s moment’ (It comes to mind today as a friend had one of them)

A few years ago now (& I can’t quite believe it was 4 years ago now) I had the absolute fortune to visit Bonham’s and Christie’s auction houses in a professional capacity.
Well to say I was excited at being able to visit these places of wonder and get paid for doing it would be an understatement.

Christie’s was breath taking. It was just before Christmas and the place was so tastefully decorated. The huge staircase was swathed in traditional greenery, I was heard to say WOW on more than one occasion.
We were shown to a room with fabulous painting and it was just how I had imagined it to be.

When business was done I asked what was being auctioned that day. I was told it was 19th Century European Art at 11.00 am.
Tentatively I asked if it would be ok to look around. Certainly, came the reply, but bear in mind the auction starts in an hour.

You have never seen someone throw papers into a briefcase so fast.

I was like a child in a sweetshop. The artwork was sensational and exquisite. I ‘ooed’ & ‘arred’ at every painting in detail, whilst my colleague trailed after me, hands in pockets!!

When I had done the tour I really wanted a catalogue of what I had seen because I realized that most of these beautiful pieces of art would never be seen by the likes of me again as they were destined for private collections (hey I think the cheapest was about £30,000)
I asked at reception whether there were any catalogues left for the auction?
The lady rooted around and said (in a really posh accent)
‘Yes we have just one left would you like it madam?’
‘Yes’ (in my best posh accent) I replied
‘Would you like a carrier bag?’
‘No, I will put it in my briefcase thank you’
‘That will be £20, how would you like to pay?’

And that is when it happened .............‘The Christie’s moment’

My brain was saying ‘with my hide’….. ‘HOW MUCH’………. ‘OMG’……….’you have to be kidding’ … ‘what the…’ and so on

My reply was, by all accounts very calm, professional and unrattled, I never flinched whilst my insides were screaming 'nooooooo wtf are you doing?'

‘by card and oh yes I think I will take your offer of a carrier bag’

As I mentioned the carrier bag my colleague exited stage left door as he was laughing so much!

So from this day forward, those moments when your inners are shouting NO & you can see your self as a cartoon character with bells and hammers going off it your head but your pride and face saving wins hands down that is the ‘Christie’s Moment’


p.s. on the bright side of life I now have my own private collection of fine art that 'only' cost me 20 quid :-)






2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Har har! Know what you mean. There is of course something that I can now refer to as the 'Reverse Christies Moment'. This is where self preservation takes over in a rush, like a sudden onset of Tourettes. Viz:

"A catalogue for the auction please"

"We have just one left. That will be £20. How will you be paying?"

"20 QUID???? FFFAAAARK ORFF!!"

Oh dear. Social death.

Randompom aka AEIB said...

hee hee Mr Woppit.... parcel tape in your pocket ready to put across your mouth is a good handy hint to avoid social death moments :-)