To Decorate or not to Decorate? That is the Question?

I decided today to call on 70teen late this morning, figuring we could go out for a girlie lunch and catch up on a few areas of vital girls only gossip.

As I drew up outside I could see her up a ladder, and she was wearing a pair of shorts & t-shirt and she was boogeying away painting the ceiling (or herself judging by the amount of paint on her arms and in her hair)

Obviously she was in no respectable state to take out anywhere so we settled on a bacon butty and a cuppa.

So there I am full makeup, best jeans, t-shirt and totty sandals telling her about something or other of vital importance and before I know it (I still don’t know how she did it) I had been coerced into helping with the decorating.

‘But I am not dressed for painting!!’ I protested

With a rye smile she said ‘ I’ve just the thing!’ and off she went up stairs

Incident Number One

OMG…… ‘No WAY am I wearing that!!’

She produced something she had apparently been issued with from work for the more dirty jobs she had to do at one time. A bright (& when I say bright I mean bright) orange all-in-one romper suit overall, emblazoned with the company badge, it was huge and would have fitted us both and more beside…….

I knew my protests were futile so I put it on. The decorating was postponed for a good while whilst we cried laughing at the state of me, you would have to be 7 foot tall to carry this awful garment off with any finesse… fortunately 70s camera batteries were dead!!

The telly was on Magic music channel so I can understand why 70s had been boogeying away as I arrived and it soon had me doing the same and singing really loud along to various 70s, 80s & 90s tracks….. ZZ Top, Billy Joel, Wuthering Heights ~ Kate Bush, Don’t wanna miss a thing ~Aerosmith, not to mention November Rain ~ Guns and Roses……. I almost came a cropper though doing Madonna ~ Vogue whilst up the ladder… we had such a laugh.

Then suddenly when ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson came on 70s screamed ‘OMG’

‘What the ……? I know you are not a Micael Jackson Fan but this track is ok!’

70s ran into the dining room and shouted ‘Come and look at this that my cuz sent me on e-mail last week, I knew you reminded me of something ‘

Incident Number Two

We ran out of emulsion and satinwood, so 70s decided that we needed to go to B&Q… she also wanted some shelves, curtain rail and other bits.

Oh no not a shopping trip to B&Q, please no!!!

There is something about 70s that you should know, she has that ‘aura’ about her that has male staff running around after her and she loves every minute. She has certainly been born in the wrong era and class. I imagine her as a rich Edwardian lady swanning around with an entourage of male servants doing her bidding …. Oh and she has a mischievious streak too!

Last time we ended up in such an establishment she found a young male assistant who looked about 12, never having seen a razor yet and it was probably the first time out without his Mum.70s had him looking for a good 10 minutes for a left-handed screwdriver.

I had to save him by saying I had found one in another aisle.

Today 70s was on top form. She glided into the store, head held high, (now I have seen this a few times … her mantra is if you have never been somewhere before, walk in like it is your regular haunt… it works every time, confidence oozing out of her) she soon found ‘her’ assistant. He was bout mid 50s, quite striking for his age and he was so willing to help, his name badge said ‘Roy’.

She said in her ‘lost girlie’ voice that she needed some shelves.

‘What type?’ He asked

So she explained and they trotted off to the back of the store … I just followed like a puppy shaking my head.

I heard him say ‘did you measure in metric?’

Her answer was ‘oh no Roy, metric always makes things seem bigger, such an illusion, no I prefer inches because I know how much I am going to get!’

I nearly died, the look on his face was priceless.

The shelves were loaded into the trolley which some how he ended up pushing.

Next was the paint, same girlie voice ‘where do you mix paint ?’

At the paint section she had a another two staff running around, Richard and Michael)

Then the curtain rail …. And so it went on as Roy and I were taken around the store.

He even loaded the goods in the car for her…… dam she is good!!!

As we drove away I said ‘ I don’t believe you!’

‘I know but it was fun though!’ she said smiling.

Must remember to phone before I visit 70s in the future ….. oh & I forgot to tell you 70s, you had a big streak of paint on the back of your head but I don’t think anyone noticed lol….. oh and thank you Roy I hope your day got better !!