real women

Both Sunny & I are pretty switched on independant women. Not always financially so ... peaks and troughs through the years as jobs and men have come and gone.
Most definitely, however, we know how to look after ourselves, we can shop unassisted, cook fabulous meals and even the odd DIY project doesn't phase us.
I recieved an e mail today which I have had before and yes it probably has done the rounds a few times but it does make me giggle. It is tips & hints from Delia Smith. I think when you read it you will know which side Sunny & I are on .......

Delia's Way ~ Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips .
The Real Woman's Way ~ Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. Whilst lying on the couch with your feet up watching a chick flick.

Delia's Way ~ To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Woman's Way ~ Buy small amounts of food at a time so they don't go off and it is a great excuse to spy cute men in the supermarket.

Delia's Way ~When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Woman's Way ~ Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way ~ If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice. The Real Woman's Way ~ If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough. Please repeat after me this motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way Cure for headaches ~ Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman's WayCure for headaches~ Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont care?

Delia's Way ~If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman's Way ~ Isn't that what men are for?

Finally the most important tip

Delia's Way ~ Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
The Real Woman's Way ~ left over wine???? Helllloooo ???????

what did you say???

The English language has evolved over the years as one would expect. Reading script from census returns back to 1841 is a difficult task at times and further back is near darned impossible. It is a great challenge and achievement when you finally make sense of who left what to who in old wills.
Today one of my biggest challenges is trying to decipher text messages (txt msgs) from my teen or when she sends my MSN messages when staying away. It is a complete new written language. It takes a good old while before I understand what they say. She teases me when I reply in full!! I fear for her written work at school unecessarily as I have checked it and it looks ok.... I have concluded that teens today are in fact bilingual.

So not to be left behind I bought a little book in a bargain book shop, it cost all of 49p so a good buy. It gives over 1000 abbreviations, emotions and meanings of txt spk... so I have been swatting up tonight ... here goes with a few ... I will put the answers down at the bottom of the page (no peeking!!)

(1)IYDKIDKWD
(2)JM2p
(3)CMIIW
(4)ILTUWotIWanWotIRLyRLyWan
(5) :~(~~~
(6) *^_^*
(7) +!
(8) -!
(9) KIT
(10) #-)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

(1)If you don't know I don't know who does
(2) Just my 2 penny-worth
(3) Correct me if I'm wrong
(4) I'll tell you what I want what I really really want (spice Girl revival!)
(5) I am moved to tears
(6) you are making me blush (???)
(7) Yes
(8) No
(9) Keep in touch
(10)we really have to get some sleep I can't go on partying all night every night

So it is GdntefrmMe, HvaGr8dy2mro :-) @}>-'-,--

wordy rice

I was sent this by my cousin. The site is giving away free rice through the United Nations (given that everyone likes rice that is? I know Sunny you are off it just now after being sick!)

However, it also tests your understanding of words.......... as you can imagine I didn't do awfully well but have had a few goes so feel I have contributed something at least.

lear genius

Had a pottering Saturday at home today. Pottering usually means day dreaming into areas of my house that get little attention but hold nuggets of inspiration..... the loft - full of memories and crap but the kind of crap that can't be chucked out, the bookcase - full of books I have read but can't throw out. I had one attempt in August to sort it out but mañana struck.

The same happened today.

I came across a most fabulous book that I had rescued from Sunny at Easter. She had been donated by the local library a host of books that were headed for the incinerator (oh that makes the hairs stand up on my arms). Sunny had asked for these as part of an altered book project and I agreed to ferry her over in my car so she didn't have to put them in a wheelie case and trug them home across town.

Looking through the boxes I rescued a few books as they could not, in my mind, either be incinerated nor transformed into an altered form of art.

One of the books I am referring to is 'A Book of Bosh' Lyrics & Pros of Edward Lear chosen by Brian Alderson ...... sheer genius. (Bosh aka stuff & nonsense)

Lear was born in 1812 and for most of his life he was a serious painter & illustrator, including on his CV giving Queen Victoria drawing lessons. He wasn't a 'well' man suffering from grand mal but managed 76 years. But in his spare time he wrote some crazy stuff, his limericks are legendary 'The Owl & The Pussy Cat ' et al.

He was known to write to a friend that he would like the Prime Minister to appoint him 'Grand Peripatetic Ass and Boshproducing Luminary'.

I happened to think that maybe some Politicians today have been bestowed with that title today, although they wouldn't admit to it or even realise it.

Some Lear

dull still day in november

Managed to remember to grab my camera on the way out the door this morning (great feat on a Friday morning!!). It was a dull morning but still so I knew the perfect eye would be looking at me as I walked along the towpath. It looks better on a sunny day, I will have to wait for the Spring to see that again.

A kind of explanation

What is a visionary art?
Is this it, and if it isn't it certainly is a wonderous statement.

...creation sometimes pours into the spiritual eye the radiance of heaven...

Heaven is not to be read as the place where God lives and we may all end up sitting by his feet...read heaven as the place where everything is created and ended and was created again - no thing ever stays the same, nor does it end. Some sort of quantum physics and actual common sense in there, if you stretch your mind to it.

i'm going to rich..................

How opportune. My junk mail filter allowed this e mail through today. Without that error I wouldn't have been able to take up this fantastic business offer. What with Christmas coming up the extra cash will come in handy.
This offer came from a lovely lady called Nellie she obviously has had a hard time and so needs my input to help the awful dilemma she finds herself in. The way she has written the letter makes me feel I have known her forever!

Dearest,
My reason of contacting you is purely based on seeking your assistance. To tell you more about me, I am 21 years old and the only child of my late parents Mr and Mrs Charles Johnson and I am living here in Abidjan, the capital city of Cote d' Ivoire in West Africa.
I was a student at a university here studying mass communication but the sudden death of my father forced me to discontinue my studies because no one could sponsor my studies again. My mother died many years back when I was just four years old and since then I have been with my father and he took me so special.
His death was so sudden and was caused by food poisoning as the doctor said in his death certificate but we are suspecting one of my uncle who always travel with him any time he is making overseas trip as the person who planned his death, well only God knows the truth.

The issue now is that I want to move out of this country immediately to a more secure place where I will live for the rest of my life because since the death of my father, his brother's and other family relatives have all taken over all my late father's belongings including his business and houses and they don't even want to consider me because I am a girl and from their crude culture here, girls are not allowed to process anything from the family until they are married.

In my own case, my father was a business man who always export Cocoa to Europe and he made a lot of money from this business and own lot of properties and houses, his brothers have taken control of all these things and they can even kill me too if I should ask about them. For this reason, I don't want to be associated with them again. However, my father confided a secret to me before his death in a hospital here. He told me that he deposited a consignment in a security company here in Abidjan Cote D Ivoire, a box of trunk containing the sum of ($7.500.000). and no one knows about this, not even the security company because he registered the content of the box as family valuables

He also told me that he used my name (Miss Nellie Johnson) as the next of kin in depositing the trunk box containing the funds and also handed over the depository documents to me. He told me that it was because of his wealth that he was poisoned and that I should seek a trustworthy person in a country of my choice who could assist me to claim and invest this money.

Dear Beloved One, this is the main reason I contacted you. I want you to help me claim this consignment/trunk box (CASH) from the security company here in Abidjan Cote D Ivoire to your country and also help me to relocate to your country to continue my life over there.

This country is no longer safe for my continual stay because every day here I am living under the fear of those my late father's relatives. I am no longer living in my family house because they might try to kill me since they want to inherit all my late father's properties. I am now living in a guest house here and I want to move out of the country finally with this money and I need your help.
If you agree to help me, I will compensate you with 20% of the total sum and also you will manage these funds in any good investment while I will continue my studies and every income made will be shared between us. Thank you and I look forward to your positive response.

Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.
Thank you so much
My Sincere regards,
Miss Nellie.

Not sure if the uncle's would accept a same sex wedding and me being divorced too....... it's a case of 'not on your Nellie' Nellie

Instead I will take Jose up on his offer 'find a sexoholic tonight'

hey there.

Want someone to sleep with living just a few minutes from you?
87% of members have already got some action with our system..

Best of all, it is completely free.

I have replied in my usual manner

say cheese.........................

Once again listening to some local radio whilst surfing radio stations sat in traffic (not sure which station now) I listened for a short while about how the North West of England is blessed with great agriculture and fresh produce. Something to do with the rich soil (this is true where I live as I can grow absolutely anything in my garden... its the slugs that put a stop to them blossoming!!! but that is another story)
The lady on the radio was raving about local cheeses. I must say I have a weakness for our crumbly yummy Lancashire cheese, as a kid I would to go to the cheese shop and buy a couple of ounces and eat it on the way home.

It got me to thinking about different cheeses I have sampled in my life time ( yes I know a bit sad but remember I was sat in rush hour traffic)
Can't do Camembert or Brie, it is the strong smells that comes from them. I am a Port Salut junkie though and I love it at Christmas when you can readily buy cheddar & other cheeses with cranberries, herbs, oranges and the like. As an adult I have learned to love Parmesan although it smells like sick!! Can't do Italian with out now.

There is one cheese that will never pass my lips again after a close encounter in Lac de Chalin, Jura region in France and that is Compte cheese. The smell and the taste is dreadful I couldn't believe how bad it was coming from such a beautiful part of France.

Maybe this postcard explains why?? Is that ectoplasm???

wordy stuff...........................

I am not particularly flamboyant with words but do admire those who are (thank goodness for on-line thesaurus's)

Tonight I received an email where someone one along the chain of e mails has taken the time out to rearrange words into different words.... clever but 'too much spare time on their hands' springs to mind

DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM (can't make 'ers room out it though)

ASTRONOMER = MOON STARER (impressed)

DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT (even betterer!)

THE EYES = THEY SEE (why couldn't I see that?)

GAUTENG = GET A GUN (had to look it up ... subtle)

THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS (dashed if I'd of got that?)

SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME (wow how true)

ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET'S RECOUNT (surely not they are always honest!)

SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S (that should be on your snooze button)

A DECIMAL POINT = IM A DOT IN PLACE (clever)

THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE (what can I say?)

ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE (spooky)

MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER (hee hee)

I am compelled now to come up with some.... will have to sleep on it (best I could get from that was a poor 'sheep wain o' tilt love')... yes I know time for bed

that moment of.............

My friends and some colleagues have an expression spawned from an experience I had once. The expression is ‘to have a Christie’s moment’ (It comes to mind today as a friend had one of them)

A few years ago now (& I can’t quite believe it was 4 years ago now) I had the absolute fortune to visit Bonham’s and Christie’s auction houses in a professional capacity.
Well to say I was excited at being able to visit these places of wonder and get paid for doing it would be an understatement.

Christie’s was breath taking. It was just before Christmas and the place was so tastefully decorated. The huge staircase was swathed in traditional greenery, I was heard to say WOW on more than one occasion.
We were shown to a room with fabulous painting and it was just how I had imagined it to be.

When business was done I asked what was being auctioned that day. I was told it was 19th Century European Art at 11.00 am.
Tentatively I asked if it would be ok to look around. Certainly, came the reply, but bear in mind the auction starts in an hour.

You have never seen someone throw papers into a briefcase so fast.

I was like a child in a sweetshop. The artwork was sensational and exquisite. I ‘ooed’ & ‘arred’ at every painting in detail, whilst my colleague trailed after me, hands in pockets!!

When I had done the tour I really wanted a catalogue of what I had seen because I realized that most of these beautiful pieces of art would never be seen by the likes of me again as they were destined for private collections (hey I think the cheapest was about £30,000)
I asked at reception whether there were any catalogues left for the auction?
The lady rooted around and said (in a really posh accent)
‘Yes we have just one left would you like it madam?’
‘Yes’ (in my best posh accent) I replied
‘Would you like a carrier bag?’
‘No, I will put it in my briefcase thank you’
‘That will be £20, how would you like to pay?’

And that is when it happened .............‘The Christie’s moment’

My brain was saying ‘with my hide’….. ‘HOW MUCH’………. ‘OMG’……….’you have to be kidding’ … ‘what the…’ and so on

My reply was, by all accounts very calm, professional and unrattled, I never flinched whilst my insides were screaming 'nooooooo wtf are you doing?'

‘by card and oh yes I think I will take your offer of a carrier bag’

As I mentioned the carrier bag my colleague exited stage left door as he was laughing so much!

So from this day forward, those moments when your inners are shouting NO & you can see your self as a cartoon character with bells and hammers going off it your head but your pride and face saving wins hands down that is the ‘Christie’s Moment’

p.s. on the bright side of life I now have my own private collection of fine art that 'only' cost me 20 quid :-)

More works less fire

Tonight Guy Fawkes was a black inky night, a few random fireworks and a bonfire, hot pumpkin soup, a crackling barbeque, and people sitting with scarfes and mulled wine....it was pitch black aside the fire. And the stars.

And how great it is to sit with people who look up and describe the formation of the constellations and name them, and everyone swivels their necks to find more patterns above.
And then i go home and listen to one of the most rewarding of bands...'The Jayhawks' (Rainy Day Music or Smile)...and listen to the words, and then sink into some satisfying warmth.

If Guy Fawkes was around today... would he have been described as a terrorist?

And why do people buy newspapapers? They don't tell news really do they, don't they sell misinformation...well in my opinion, for what thats worth

Fire Works

Re reading a recent entry about my dream - how about this:

When things come together in a way which is truly significant (like in a dream), the interface between the psyche and the world becomes apparent. In and out of sleep we are still a part of ourself. Its that in sleep our conscious self is hard to reach.

Are we not visited by 'messengers' when we dream and when we are awake?
In so many cultures the sleep part of life is as important as the awake bit.

And I've been reading more about the fantastic artist, visionary and poet William Blake.
His work illustrates the parallels between the vision of self transcendence and and Buddhist tradition's (meditation) .

We get so wrapped up by meaningless cotton wool, that we ignore the most crucial part of who we are.
Its good to look at the work of artists, or writers or explorers or scientits or musicians or all of us....just to keep getting perspectives.

So in a dream, what are we dreaming about: is it ourself or is it of wishes or realities or is of messengers from others.
I met a man in my dream and I hope I meet him, he was offering a gift, some sort of truth.

madam do you want to buy a watch?

I am afraid it is junk spammy again that has spurred me on.

I recall when I was very small an image of a trilby wearing chap stopping my Mum in the street in Liverpool and saying 'Madam do you want to buy a watch?'
He opened his camel coat (thank goodness he wasn't a flasher) and had a display of watches hanging on the inside the coat.
Of course my mother dismissed him and we moved on quickly. I asked about it and was told he was a 'Spiv'.

Spiv's were many during & following the Second World War where chaps were out to earn a buck or 2, an underground economy where they could supply whatever was on demand... silk stockings, tobacco, sugar ... in fact any commodity that was in demand but in short supply.


Today the Spiv's provide a similar service but for counterfeit designer gear generally at a fraction of the genuine article price because of the consumer society we have become. They are alive and well and have mastered the art of the internet.
From Jodie Chang I received an email noted ' a Gift that will impress anyone'

I have replied in my usual manner